?

Log in

Ladies and Gentlemen, lets get ready to rumble!! [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
random_battles

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

Ideas [Dec. 20th, 2005|02:22 am]
random_battles
If anyone has any ideas, please feel free to leave me a comment. Ill write out your ideas!!
link2 comments|post comment

(no subject) [Dec. 20th, 2005|01:55 am]
random_battles
Request by
misfitpromqueen

Flying Monkeys (Wizard of Oz) vs Stormtrooper Squirrels

It was a day long to be remembered in Earth's history.  The Flying Monkeys, after years of harsh oppression by the Empire of the Squirrels, have rebelled against their rulers.  Striking hard and fast at various Empire barracks, the Rebelious Monkeys were outlawed by Emperor Squirreless the 2nd.

This is a live news report of the final battle::

---------------------------------------------

*thump thump* "Is this thing on?" *sounds of helicopters flying in the distance* "O it is? Crap, this is Syvilliana Squirrel reporting from the battlefield southwest of the capital where a fierce battle is taking place between the Royal Squirrel army led by Major. Gilbertus Squirreles  and the rebellious Flying Monkeys led by Caitiess Buttokus."

"Unfortunetly we are unable to deliver a live picture of the battle going on so I will be telling you all what is going to the best of my abilities"

"Right now the third and fourth regiments of the Royal Army have taken the field, their white armour glistening in the sun.  The sixth and seven regiments have begun their approach to the right of the Monkey encampment while the thirty-first airborne unit of the legendary Fighting Flying Squirrels prepares for take off"

*thunderous sounds* "The first regiment has begun intense bombardament of the encampment, designed to, OH MY GOD!" *huge explosion sound* "The flying monkeys have launched an all out assault on the third and fourth regiments, bombarding the hell out of-" *more explosions* "CHRIST! The entire third regiment has just been obliterated!  The fourth seems to be retreating."

"It...it looks like Major Gilbertus has ordered the thirty-first to begun strafing runs..."  *sounds of footsteps in the background* "yes they have begun, dropping hundreds of rocks and boulders upon the Monkey encampment."

*more explosions* "It looks like the Monkeys have finally taken flight, attacking the thirty-first in the air. O dear god...bodies are flying out of the air by the dozens. Blood...gallons of it are staining the ground."

*more explosions and cries of agony* "It seems that Major Gilbertus has sent the thirty-second, fifty-fifth and the sixty first Flying squirrel squadrons into the air. It seems that the Emperor wants no prisioners"  *another explosion followed by a horn* "Yes...yes that is the Major. It seems he has raised the Iron Fist of the Empire. Thats a sign for all regiments to approach the encampment"

*dozens more explosions, muffled gunfire* "Oh my..oh my...NO~"  *transmission ends*

---------------------------------------------

Unfortunetly the brave Squirrel who actually did this transmission died moments afterwards from a stray rock, said to have been thrown by the rebellion leader Caitiess Buttokus.  The war continued on for another hour before the military might of the Empire finally crushed the rebellion of the Flying Monkeys. Rather then being taken captive, their leader, Caitiess Buttokus, shot herself in the head. There were no flying monkey survivors. 

Over 150 million squirrels and monkeys died that day. It is now known as the "Bloody Tuesday" and is remembered by all.


Winner: Stormtrooper Squirrels
</span>
linkpost comment

(no subject) [Dec. 14th, 2005|12:16 pm]
random_battles
Boba Fett vs The Predator

The jungle was quiet. Birds chirped in the night air, ptyerdoactyls flew over head, silently heading back to their nests. A small creature, no bigger then a fox, sniffed around the ground, searching for food. Its head jerked up, hearing something unhearable.  A small snap made it rush away.

With a cackle of electricity, the cloaking device of the creature disappeared, showing the full seven foot tall powerful image of the most feared hunter in the galaxy. The Predator walked forward, one hand on his staff, the other clinched, ready. He scanned the area around him, the infared showing various small creatures, but not what he was looking for. Not the one that got away.

Fifteen feet above him, Boba Fett crouched on a branch, one hand resting on the trunk for balance, the other holding his trusty blaster. His face, covered by the Mandalorian helmet, remained emotionless. But he was all buisness, his eyes watching the Predator below him, his tracking device keeping a direct line of sight to the creatures helmet.

A mouse scurried in front of them, causing the Predator to turn and watch the little red orb scurry away.  That gave Boba Fett all the que he needed. He raised his blaster and-

A police siren went off, causing Boba and the Predator to turn to see the studios great doors open up. The Director of the short film, Steven Spielberg, jumped up in outrage. "What is this about?!" he yelled.

A lone figure came from them light of the outside, flannel shirt and all. "Its me" George Lucas said, "And your just about to get sued for 1.2 billion dollars for copyright infringments"

Winner:  Erm....George Lucas?
link4 comments|post comment

(no subject) [Dec. 13th, 2005|05:03 am]
random_battles
Abraham Lincoln vs. Curious George

It started out as a normal day for Abraham Lincoln, going to the market to get a loaf of bread and milk. Along the way he saw a young boy on the side of the road crying and holding his leg. He stopped and bent down.

"Whats wrong?" he asked.

"That...that monkey kicked me and stole my candy cane" he said in between tears, pointing to the tree on the other side of the road, "he's mean"

Abe looked up to see a small brown monkey perched on the branch of the tree, looking at the candy cane with intense curiosity. Abraham frowned. He hated animals, especially small, brown, curious monkeys. Some sort of deep imbeded hatred that his mother had taught him. He had never thought anything of it, because in fact, he never met a small, brown, curious monkey till this point into his life, but he realized why he hated them.

They were the tools of the devil.

So he walked over to the tree, looked up at the monkey and called out, "Come on down here little monkey fella and give this poor boy his candy back"

Curious George looked down at the tall man  with the odd hat. He then looked at his newly found discovery and then back at the man and shook his head at him, sticking his tongue out.

This got Abraham infuriated.  He jumped up and reached out for Curious.  Curious, in a purley defensive action, jumped and bared his teeth.  He landed on Abraham's hat and began to claw at it.  Abraham, not one to lose his fancy hats to a monkey, reached up and grabbed the monkey, throwing him across the road.  But this was no oridnary monkey. Curious George did a series of backflips in the air, landing safetly on the ground.  He hissed, clawed at the dirt and pounced, his sharp metal claws flying into Abrahams face.  He began to tear away, cutting at the flesh of soon-to-be-presidents face.  In a act of pure fury, Abraham tore Curious from his face and slamed him on the ground.  He then let loose a short series of kicks into the small creature before stopping and realizing what he had done.

"Oh my...what have I-"

BLAM!

Abraham's chest flew outward from the impact of the shotgun shell, instantly killing him.  His lifeless corpse fell to the floor as the man in the yellow hat stepped out of the shadows and picked up Curious George.

"Oh curious...what will I ever do with you" he said as he started down the road and into the sunset.

Winner: Curious George by default
link1 comment|post comment

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]