||[Dec. 13th, 2005|05:03 am]
Abraham Lincoln vs. Curious George|
It started out as a normal day for Abraham Lincoln, going to the market to get a loaf of bread and milk. Along the way he saw a young boy on the side of the road crying and holding his leg. He stopped and bent down.
"Whats wrong?" he asked.
"That...that monkey kicked me and stole my candy cane" he said in between tears, pointing to the tree on the other side of the road, "he's mean"
Abe looked up to see a small brown monkey perched on the branch of the tree, looking at the candy cane with intense curiosity. Abraham frowned. He hated animals, especially small, brown, curious monkeys. Some sort of deep imbeded hatred that his mother had taught him. He had never thought anything of it, because in fact, he never met a small, brown, curious monkey till this point into his life, but he realized why he hated them.
They were the tools of the devil.
So he walked over to the tree, looked up at the monkey and called out, "Come on down here little monkey fella and give this poor boy his candy back"
Curious George looked down at the tall man with the odd hat. He then looked at his newly found discovery and then back at the man and shook his head at him, sticking his tongue out.
This got Abraham infuriated. He jumped up and reached out for Curious. Curious, in a purley defensive action, jumped and bared his teeth. He landed on Abraham's hat and began to claw at it. Abraham, not one to lose his fancy hats to a monkey, reached up and grabbed the monkey, throwing him across the road. But this was no oridnary monkey. Curious George did a series of backflips in the air, landing safetly on the ground. He hissed, clawed at the dirt and pounced, his sharp metal claws flying into Abrahams face. He began to tear away, cutting at the flesh of soon-to-be-presidents face. In a act of pure fury, Abraham tore Curious from his face and slamed him on the ground. He then let loose a short series of kicks into the small creature before stopping and realizing what he had done.
"Oh my...what have I-"
Abraham's chest flew outward from the impact of the shotgun shell, instantly killing him. His lifeless corpse fell to the floor as the man in the yellow hat stepped out of the shadows and picked up Curious George.
"Oh curious...what will I ever do with you" he said as he started down the road and into the sunset.
Winner: Curious George by default